Spam Squared
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published May 22, 1997) Spam Squared Ordinarily, fighting Spam only requires a fork and a healthy appetite — in the wired world, however, meat by-products are not the concern du jour. ‘Spam,’ as most…

Reinfestation
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published May 15, 1997) Reinfestation ‘Way back when I used to program with some regularity — it was that or actually do work at the magazine — I came up with a ditty I…

Stage Craft
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published May 8, 1997) Stage Craft “Break a leg!” I can’t believe how many times I heard that last week. It seemed to have some subliminal yet cumulative effect; it wasn’t ’til Friday evening…

Assuming Control
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published April 17, 1997) Assuming Control I’ll call him ‘Bob’ — primarily because I don’t remember his name. At the time, I was working in Willowdale (now soon to be part of an engorged…

The Noxious Weed
(hennhaus: Hard Bard)

(Originally published April 10, 1997) The Noxious Weed Smoking, wrote King James I in his 1604 “A Counterblaste to Tobacco,” is “[a] custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain,…

The Medium & the Message
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published April 3, 1997) The Medium & the Message The name she used was ‘Barb’, and she was a thorn in my side. “Hello,” she’d say, “this is Barb.” It was a fairly innocuous…

Kiss Your Cash Goodbye
hennhaus: Hard Baud

(Originally published March 6, 1997) Kiss Your Cash Goodbye In Kingston, it’s called the Exact card; in Guelph, the Mondex card. They’re generally known as ‘smart cards’, and there seems little doubt that they’ll find…

Sweating Out the Orders
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published January 9, 1997) Sweating Out the Orders “Mffphello?” The woman I’d awakened at home was a complete stranger. It was 3:00 am or so, but I had called a ’24-hour order line’ expecting…

Testing . . .
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published January 2, 1997) Testing . . . My IQ — according to the Self-Discovery Workshop — is 146. This is meaningless, of course; after all, I called the vernal equinox “the longest day…

Bytes and Pieces
(hennhaus: Hard Baud)

(Originally published December 26, 1996) Bytes & Pieces It’s the longest day of the year as I write this [actually, it was the shortest; sleep deprivation has its disadvantages. JR] — time enough to reflect…