Whackjobs & Englishmen

Whackjobs & Englishmen

Currently no-one’s certain why a gentleman last Sunday sought entry into a London restaurant’s kitchen to play with knives, but he managed to slice his wrist and hack off his . . . member . . . in the process. Police pepper-sprayed him while he was further ventilating himself in a dining area. He is currently in hospital sans penis, though Wise & Foolish has some concern about his reaction to hospital food.

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Music legend (two Grammys) and legendary wife-whacker (. . .) Ike Turner is dead at 76.  Tina’s response came from her representative, informing entertainment site TMZ.com that “She has not had any contact with him in 35 years. No further comment will be made.”